Another great post, HG. I guess I now see that the seduction phase seemed to stop completely when the last of his kids moved out. Do they hate us at this moment? How do I get back the time I spent trying to rationalize his behavior? is compensated for referring traffic and business to these If only looks could kill. Ive emerged from the ashes like a Phoenix; stronger than ever but paid a very heavy price for simply just being me. Until my relationship with a deadly Covert Malignant Narcissist I never knew what is now normal terminology for us: love-bombing, gas-lighting, grand finales, narcissistic supply, hoovering, smear campaigns and flying monkeys oh my. Hmmmmm. I am proud of what I am building I want to be the number source for this information; The other point you made that I wanted to comment on was the use of the shield of being a Christian. We wanted YOU. Thank you for bringing out those two important points that had been on the back burner of my brain, I just had not been able to get to them yet, because everything on the front burners was boiling over! You may have caught the occasional malicious glance from us, just a flash of hatred, but that is something else. However, as skeptical as you are, I know what I saw. Nothing. Thank you so much H.G. The intensity of this was engulfing. Any other color they are green/brown hazel with flicks of gold. Its opportunistic and just silly things. Lows very low, highs very high. I never really learned how to easily look people in the face until I became a teacher and had no choice. I happened to look in his Direction with a little bit of a stare of my own and as soon as he saw my stare his face flashed and his eyes went black. This empty and robotic stare is a warning of what is to come and should you see it in those you engage with, heed it and make good your departure because it is signaling to you that a far worse stare awaits you. Just a couple of thingsone is that I am a pharmacist. I would like to think that had I been older I wouldve been wise enough to run from that prophetic gaze but I know I wouldnt have been. Which he complete extinguished. You are an unfortunate reminder of a part of us which we prefer to keep locked away and this stare conveys this through contempt and loathing. I will be a survivor, not a victim. I know my N despises me for this, and wants to destroy me. That was about 8 weeks ago, I think. The best revenge (not my personality but for lack of a better way to put it) is to not only survive, but thrive and surround yourself with people that have angels versus demons on their side and like, love and admire you for the real you. I used to have such a great sense of humor. Lovely feeling isnt it? They literally just went black. Not ever. And letting go of such a toxic demonic relationship allows all the beautiful people who build you up and operate at much higher vibrations of light and love come flooding in once we start healing. When I first met the narc he asked me why I avoided eye contact with him. He did not have to offer the comment and now you are questioning him. And I know some of them will be about all of his new women. survivor narcissism narcissistic I didnt see the colour rise or magically appearthere is nothing magical about it for sure. Do you have any insight on if you tell how dangerous a disordered person is or could be? .. someone out there bent towards your demise. I do not do this to garner praise (although I am always pleased to receive it) or to misinform, but rather because I want to be number one, I enjoy the interaction and I like to write. The last six months of the relationship perhaps even longer I started telling him that I truly believe he was a nurse assist he of course was offended and went to look up the word narcissism in his go to source what he felt was reliable which was Wikipedia I had to laugh at that one I specifically pointed out to him that Wikipedia is updated constantly by random people so it is not a completely reliable source and that I was not asking him for the definition of how the name narcissism came to be based upon an old story I was referring him to a mental pages describing narcissistic personality disorder. I hadnt realised that I did but when he said that I realised looking into his eyes actually made me feel sick not good. I have encountered all the above stares in 10+ years with A. You are lucky not to have been the subject of this kind of rage, but please do not discount the experiences of those of us who have. The subconscious language is symbolism, and so dream imagery is present in religious and other powerful artwork throughout history. I would like to add that The State is a very appropriate article I also experienced what I would call the disrespectful non-stare where he would not look at me when I was speaking my truth which thankfully I always did at all costs he was usually staring intently at his iPhone and flicking through the screens with harsh movements which he kept on him at all times because they triangulate like that its not only people or person it can be objects such as phones (of course as typical I was accused of cheating and lying on with the entire relationship when in fact I was working 12 hours a day as I explained to him people that make accusations that are unfounded like that are basically the ones that are doing the cheating and lying at that point this highly intelligent narcissists assumed the dumb look and said he had never heard of that before LOL. It only lasted for a few seconds, before he got his mask securely in place again. Anyone who has ever seen this knows. Those flashing emerald eyes appeared transfixed as they stared at you. No, I have no interest in providing you with misinformation. I saw it all, swirling in the blackness of his eyes. Normal narc behavior Mr. Tudor? Sometimes it may be accompanied by hissed words of threat and insult. Whether family members, friends, bosses, or coworkers we all have toxic people to overcome. 9.8.7.5. I experienced all those stares. You have such a nice eyes i told him once So do you he replied. My one weapon that I always knew for certain was he could never, ever have my soul. I saw the emptiness and shell like quality in him .. yet all I see in him is that not also a reflection of my own emptiness my own shell and sickness? Incongruence between the features is common even among narcissists skilled at deception. When you are dealing with lies and sensitivity, you are put on guard. It was not real. Most people will try and tell you youre on drugs or hallucinating or you didnt see it I know exactly what I saw I thought several times it was demonic and a mask slipping on a narcissist technically can also make them a shapeshifter. I find it creepy when someone stares like this. Which signals to narc a F.R.E.E ? With one click of my send button on my iPhone I could easily send them all recordings of all the slander, his mocking of and character assassinations of their reputations and threats of blackmail I have on record that he made against not only those dear to me, but also on his own family, friends and business partners. He is the only one who has ever done thisand when he stopped, I wondered why it diddid he not love me? I am not proud of it. Is the narcissist eyes turning black a genuine phenomena? You cannot complain that you are being badly treated, since no abuses have yet been deployed against you. Dont think age matters. But wanting an scientific explanation of how and why the eye color change can occur, I found articles and information online indicating that the iris responds to muscle contractions and probably most significantly facial expressions, and that results in the color change. Now that Im out from under a little bit Im trying to fight to regain my sense of humor. Tudor, is it possible for a narc to bypass the malice stare, or is it a case of being conditioned to the memory of my fathers stares that, in my mind, has diluted the intensity of my ex narcs stare? Well thats me out then. At that moment, I felt exactly that. Age does not matter one my now friends remarried her Narc/Borderline she just went through the divorce from hell and shes almost 60. Web And the strength of who I am now shown stronger. I blocked everything I could and I have never listened to his voice mails, so I dont know if hes gone off the rails or what approach he is taking at any time. I only saw this once. We have someone far better. It is a good tool when you are able to do it with awareness . In my experience, narcissists eyes dont turn physically black. Hes dead now and Im still laughing. Next time ill just be smiling if such a scenario presents itself again. Never mind, I dont need the time back. It could be positively scary inhuman, malicious. That leaves you to HG, cooing into your ear with his sexy British accent and subtle mocking laughter while asking you if youve been a bad blogger and caressing you with a strong but smooth as silk bare hand right before the .smack! Ive been told by a few, that shen I get mad they turn quite green. Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. I too shall take a break and look forward to continuing education on this disorder. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. Amazon.com. I say the eyes are the windows FROM the soul. Todays Hoover was watching me for nearly an hour after getting in my face to make sure I engaged him (been nc 2 months) and avoiding all eye contact the last two weeks. More green than normal. Before falling for him, I let my sense of humor shine. Let me back up and say that the day the mask slipped, I had confronted him with something he had done that was a definite relationship-breaker. My eyes are hazel as well. Since they actually believe that they are above the law as was the case of mine he is actually registered and is still on parole so its of public record the frightening thing is there is no law preventing people like this from online dating sites which is one of their favorite places to gain new supply at the end I actually created a fake online profile which I knew would immediately attract him and less than one week message that profile of course he did not have pictures up and I asked for them I had to laugh he advised he was in such a popular demand that he could only put them up for moment to show me I played along and said certainly I understood of course when he put up the pictures they were of him and they were pictures that he can simply just cut me out of I did this from my iPhone while sitting directly across from him while he was on his iPhone at which point I asked him are you sure youve never cheated on me and you are not on any dating sites? The person that you thought we were will be utterly absent. This is a change which occurs as the devaluation begins. We have all contributed and have benefited from this. The eye changing is a real thing. Good luck to you FL11 ! His stares didnt frighten me the way my fathers stares did. Sometimes it is cloaked in silence, the balefulness a clear warning that a period of silence will now be visiting you. This stare is one of pure contempt. What a stupid idiot. It was terrifying to see that in the eyes of a man I thought I knew, a man I loved. This will cause you to become confused. I learned very early never to look at anyones face when talking. I served my purpose. I am fuel. After that day, I gave him two weeks to come forth with the truth (I didnt expect it, but at least I could say I gave him the chance.) I passed out., I was stunned at what I saw Her eyes were black, like the narcissists secret boss, the devil. That was one time he chose to look me right in the eyes and swear on the Bible and his mothers life that he would never do such a thing youve been turned back to his phone and arrange to meet my fake profile at the back of the church he went to every Sunday. It is back and in full flow and I wouldnt never let anyone put that light out again. Enter your email address and be notified of new material. I was so tired this morning when I posted earlier I actually nodded off a few times but I havent been sleeping at night of course he still affecting many areas of my life but I was determined to post but I had to say as I think we all should knowledge is power and when I started questioning the Cluster B personality spectrum 2+ years ago there was not that much information out there I wanted to get as much information as I could but I was using it so that I could know what I was dealing with and what to expect once I was able to extract myself at a of course very high price mentally physically financially and careerwise and social and support-system wise. That has gone. He went silent. I am familiar with malicious stares from others, but I have never seen eyes darken as described here. Matilda, In dire situations, our subconscious may speak to us directly through the use of visual imagery. The difference is in wanting or being able to understand and have compassion for the other which HG kind dont seem to have. Many victims of narcissists often report that their abusers have a strange or even demonic aspect to their gaze.
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